Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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