yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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