you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
