all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
