first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
