I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
