Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
