some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
