I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize