i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
