all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
