she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
