Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
