moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
