So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
