I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
