I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
