Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
