Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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