I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
