I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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