the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
