He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
