she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
