there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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