"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
