Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
there is glitter all over my balls
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