I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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