he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
