your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
