I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
