well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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