his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She made me pour olive oil on her.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He did a backflip because drugs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
