i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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