did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I could fuck to npr.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
