When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
