let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
