"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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