There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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