Having a random hookup so left but love u
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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