im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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