I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
