best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
