Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
