Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
