Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
