508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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