my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
