4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
