i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Someone shattered a urinal.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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