there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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