Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
