Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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