I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
